What it's like to be a Mom . . .

Lately I've had some rough days and mornings and been up early and go to bed late with so much going on. It's extra crazy the past couple weeks with family stuff going on and adding in being a parent makes things super stressful. I found myself looking at the goings on in my household and needing to voice how I feel and how stressful it is to me. So here it goes:

What It's Like to Be a Mom

I haven't showered in two days and plan to later this afternoon when my husband gets home but it probably won't happen until after dinner.

I am potty training a 2 1/2 year old while dealing with a teething baby who screams bloody murder at me all day long. My lowest point the other day dealing with this was Rowan had had 3 or 4 pee accidents that day and had peed double what he usually does in the bathroom upstairs, not two feet from the toilet, if he had take two steps to the right it would've been in the toilet. So I pulled out the cleaner and paper towel and was cleaning it up and the whole time I'm cleaning up pee I have a 10 month old yelling at me from her bumbo seat because her teeth hurt. Oh and did I mention my 5 year old is not dealing well with Rowan getting attention for using the toilet and has to announce every time he goes to the bathroom despite being potty trained for 2 years+ and requests a candy every time he goes pee.

Lets see what else? Most days I feed my children their meals and snacks healthily and they are happy but for some reason I can't remember to feed myself. I pour them bowls of cereal but find it difficult to grab a third bowl and pour myself one until probably 2 hours later when I realize Oh wait I haven't eaten. Yesterday I ate mostly crap because it gave me energy and kept me going for the day, don't judge it was a hard day yesterday. Some days I feel like I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached.

After three kids I feel like I'm doing ok weight wise but secretly I hate certain parts of my body. Before I had children I wasn't super thin but I was at least within a healthy range for weight and would eat relatively well. With everything I deal with during the day adding in trying to eat right and exercise is hard. I have quite a few friends who are runners and are in great shape and I've concluded that most of them are done having children and make a huge effort to do it. I just need to get to that point before I can get in shape or at least get my body back from being loaned to my baby with breastfeeding before I can go full tilt into exercise and diet change.

Most days I feel like I am drowning in laundry, I can't seem to ever catch up and have all of the laundry done and put away before it replenishes. A friend once posted that Laundry is a Monster that hides in corners, under beds and in closets, just when you think you've gotten it under control it pops up somewhere else.

One of the few things I've actually kept up on is the dishes which makes me feel good that at least one thing stays somewhat clean in my house because with three little kids they are similar to a tornado. Corinne recently learned to crawl which is so exciting because I love when my children hit a new milestone but now she adds to the tornado.

Having little boys = pee on my floor it's just a fact of life that little boys are easily distracted and sometimes miss when they pee standing up. I've actually out of curiosity watched Gavin use the bathroom and he stares at the ceiling or anywhere else instead of paying attention where he's aiming and misses often so I started having him help me clean the bathroom on Saturdays. Thank goodness for my steam mop to clean the floors. Is it weird that I love that thing so much?

Which leads to another thing, I get excited for cleaning appliances. I used to think that was pretty sad but certain items make my life so much easier. This past Christmas all I wanted was a Shark Steam Mop and my mom got it for me. You'd think I had gotten that red racer bb gun from christmas story with how excited I got, I even asked my mom if I could mop her floors ha ha. Before that we bought a Dyson, and anyone who knows anything about Dysons they are freakin' awesome! As soon as it arrived I vacuumed my floors probably a dozen times just to see it work :).

Trying to go anywhere with my kids makes the trip take twice as long. Lately I think my husband has discovered that if he sends me out to go window shopping, even if I don't buy anything and am only gone for an hour I come home a lot happier and any small things we need get picked up from the store a lot faster if he sends me by himself. I appreciate it a lot and he always reminds me that in his job he gets a break from the kids and I deserve to take time for myself.

Next topic: I feel guilty doing anything for me sometimes. It seems weird that as mothers we give all of ourselves to our families and never take time for ourselves but it just becomes a way of life when you have kids. Being selfish isn't really an option but every once in a while I try to take time out for myself because it's just mandatory or my self esteem will crash and burn.

On Sundays sometimes I feel like there isn't much point in going to church because I spend most of my time in the hallway. I joke sometimes and say "someday I will go to class again, when I stop having babies" but it's pretty much true. When one baby goes to Nursery then we have another one, its an ongoing pattern so I guess when I'm done having babies I'll get more out of church. I have been reminded though before that going to church on Sunday even if you spend most of the time in the hallway I am being a good example to my kids about where we need to be.

Despite having a frustrating week with everything I am so grateful for the successes we've had this week. We made a trip to Canada to see my niece baptized which was amazing!! She is such a sweet wonderful spirit who knows more then I realized and you could definitely feel the spirit at her baptism. I am so glad we were able to go and despite being out of town Rowan did awesome with his potty training! Right before we left he finally got over his fear of using the toilet instead of the little potty and that made things a lot easier too. I realize Gavin just needs a little more attention and voicing my gratitude to him to help compensate for all the extra attention Rowan is getting for potty training. And miss Corinne just needs to be cuddled while she works those teeth out.

I may be only one woman but to them I am the world and I am realizing more and more that I need to take care of myself more. I hope sharing these inner thoughts will help me feel better and make you feel better that you aren't alone (or at least I hope I'm not alone in these thoughts)  ha ha. Mothers of the world here is my confessions. And those who are trying to decide whether to have children, it's worth every moment! As scary as it sounds reading all my thoughts, I wouldn't change it for the world and as they get older you'll miss these days, I keep having to remind myself of these things.

School starts soon and my oldest is going to Kindergarten, I can't believe he's already old enough for school. I can't believe that! My trio are such a blessing and I wouldn't change it for the world. Thanks for letting me let it all out :)