Wednesday, November 7, 2012

My take on the home and public school debate

Lately I have a large influx of friends who have decided to homeschool. That is great and wonderful for them but unless the school system got so bad that I couldn't have my children in public school I don't think I could do it, let me rephrase that, I wouldn't choose to do it unless it got too bad I could do it, I just choose not to. I am totally supportive of those who choose to do it with their children and have lots of respect for those that do, it is a hard job being a parent and adding teacher to that list of things has got to be rough but there is a problem that I am noticing lately. There is an implication that I'm not sure if its on purpose, that my child is restricted and not being led to his full potential because he goes to public school. I have seen memes like this one lately.


And others that are worse . . . but it made me too mad to even include them. It bothers me to think that my friends who homeschool think that my child is restricted or being held back in his full potential because he goes to public school and that outside of school I don't engage my children and take them outside and teach them about things that they wouldn't learn in school.

I'd like to tell you story about my oldest son Gavin. Gavin has always had his stubborn streaks and has from the time he was born, he never did anything until he was full and ready including crawling, walking and especially talking. Gavin created his own language that we named "Gavinese" he would jabber in his language at you and when you would say "Oh really?" he'd say uh huh like you understood. We didn't think much of it, lots of children did this and he would eventually grow out of it right?

Fast forward 3 1/2 years and Gavin was still not talking properly, he was barely putting fragmented sentences together and would mimick what you would say but nothing to what he was supposed to be by that age. I was in denial, feeling like he would just come out talking one day but it just wasn't happening. As a parent you never want to feel like you failed as a parent but I felt like I was. As his Mom I couldn't help him to speak, I didn't know how to go about teaching him to talk but I was scared to ask for help because it felt like I was admitting I was a bad parent. I tried picking up the phone to have him assessed but would end up hanging it up crying. Finally my older sister Erin called me and this is what she said: "As Gavin's aunt I love him and you very much and I have to let you know that you need to get him help. I know this is hard for you but you are not a failure if you ask for help! In fact it shows you are good Mom because you realize that he needs help, to keep denying help would make you a bad Mom which I know you are not. If you'd like I can call for you and make the appointment if its too hard for you to do that but please for Gavin make the call." I remember breaking down crying knowing that she was right and finally I told her No I can do it, I just don't know where to start, she found me the number and when I called nobody answered so I left a message and even that made me frustrated. Like I finally got the gutts to call and nobody answered. It was really hard.

They eventually called me back and were super nice, the school board has an assessment day twice a year (in case anyone is wondering) where they have different kinds of teachers and therapists that can test your child for hearing, vision, motor skills, cognitive and language. Gavin passed all of the categories except language and cognitive. What I remember most about it was the motor skills testing. Gavin is the type of personality where he has to figure out how things work. They gave him a set of blocks and asked him to copy a type of stacking that she did. He did beautifully and even made a more complicated one that she was going to do next before she even did it. The speech therapist had a pie chart that swivelled and he took it from her and tried to figure out how it worked. Through the tests he was placed in a preschool for developmental delays at first Chambers Prairie Elementary and then Lacey Elementary which was closer to our house the following year. He rode the bus to school twice a week for 2 years before even going to school and I will forever be grateful for what the school system has done for my son Gavin.

You would never know that he had any kind of delay. He entered Kindergarten last year and already knew how to write his name and by the first couple months of kindergarten was reading at the highest level in the class. He enjoys math and reading and art and I never feel like he is restricted by anything his teacher teaches in class. In fact as a point I would like to let you know that the elementary school he goes to is one of the top schools in our area. Because he is so far ahead of everyone in reading his teacher sends home extra reading homework to make sure he isn't being restricted. He gets paired with a buddy so that he can do his reading at his level and up until last year even had a volunteer parent who would take him and another girl out of class for reading because they wanted to make sure they weren't being held back.

This year I decided to put Rowan who is almost 4 into the same program for preschool. Lacey Elementary has the same preschool for delayed children or with special needs and they have open enrollment for what they call "Peer Mentors." You pay out of pocket for it but they allow you to choose 2 or 3 times a week and as long as you enroll right away you pretty much can pick the days and times they go. Rowan has the same teacher Gavin had, Abby McElmeel and at the beginning of the year I remember talking to her about how Gavin is. She has a special place for Gavin because it was her first year teaching and he is such a huge success story. She told me she still checks in on him to see how he's doing and she was SO excited to have Rowan in her class. I actually started tearing up and gave her a hug because I was so grateful for her and the other teachers that did so much for Gavin and that they loved what they did so much that they continued to follow up with Gavin. Rowan loves going to preschool and making new friends and I in turn get more one on one time with Corinne at home. It's a win win situation if you ask me.

Now I'd like to go back to my main point of this post. Do I feel like I could've homeschooled Gavin? No I do not, he needed the therapy and learning techniques that only that program could provide I believe. Do I think that homeschooling is bad? not at all, in fact there are many of my friends (you know who you are) who are amazing teachers to their children in the home. Example: I got a phone call from a friend's daughter who is homeschooled the other day who is 6 and she asked me to help with a project she was doing for school.

I'd also like to add my dislike for the opposite, acting like homeschooled children are socially awkward and sheltered. In fact I find the opposite is to be the case. All of these things are based on the way a parent teaches. I am sure there are some that are but most homeschooled children are quite social and happy and the opposite of sheltered. Another meme that someone posted that made me mad


I feel no matter how we choose to teach our children that we should do it with our whole selves and be engaged. Know what our children are learning and really be involved. My son brought home reading homework that talked about animal habitats and information about volcanoes and he really showed an interest in it. So in turn I sat down with him and looked up more information. There are many opportunities for me as a parent to expand on the information he is getting from the public schools and in turn somewhat "homeschool" after he comes home from public school. Ultimately that is our job as parents is to continually educate our kids whether it is at home or at a public school. I try my best as a parent to teach my child right from wrong and to be a friend to everyone at school or at home or at church. I continue to hope that I am teaching him the right things and he is a good person ultimately and becomes an educated and good man someday. I think the whole point of this post is feeling like no matter how we choose to do things it becomes a versus debate? Why can't we respect the way others choose to do things without having to fight about it? Ok off my soapbox :)