The First of Many Blogs

Ok so I gave in and made a blog. My sisters have been telling me its therapeutic and I could use some therapy with all the organ shoving and the 2 year old musings at the moment. Plus I'm really bad at making a journal and I think I heard something from the prophet that says to do blogging because its a form of journaling, so here goes. This one is going to be a very long post just for catching people up and get it all down so I don't forget anything. Bear with me.

Ok Quick Background

With Gavin my beautiful 2 1/2 year old son, we had troubles, BIG troubles getting pregnant and I ended up losing 3 pregnancies to miscarriage early on before finally getting a doctor who knew what was wrong with me. Dr. Moruzzi, an amazing fertility specialist as soon as he saw me knew I had a condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which in a nutshell makes it absolutely impossible to get pregnant without medication and a lot of intervention from a doctor (I know what you're thinking, makes trying so much more fun right?). I don't ovulate or get a cycle on my own so yeah how to get pregnant otherwise? Medication! What I affectionately call the "Multiple Personality" Pills lets just call them. With Gavin and subsequent pregnancies they worked great. When it came time to start trying again we went back on the clomid and for some reason it didn't work. I seemed to be ovulating but it just didn't take. 4 months of clomid and I was just about ready to lose it! My doctor said the next step was doing artificial insemination in combination with the clomid, not an appealing alternative for me and especially for my husband Spencer but we were willing to try it if it meant I could get pregnant again. On Spencer 30th birthday (January 11th) well we did it (he says he made it with a cup but we won't go into that lol) Happy Birthday to you honey! Not very pleasant and I hope I never have to do that again, everything looked great and it didn't work....*sad face.* At this point I was so depressed and sick of all the intervention that we gave up on it. I stopped going to the doctor and stopped all the medication which was a good thing cuz I was really depressed and kind of lost myself. I started to feel better even though we weren't able to get pregnant but my sanity was slowly making its way back. A couple months later toward the end of March my grandmother had made a trip down to Abbotsford to visit family and I decided that Gavin and I should go up and see her because it had been a while and I missed her, so we went up with my parents because Spencer was working.

Ok so the next part deserves its own paragraph because I tend to make run on sentences and forget puncuation so I should probably not make it all one great big paragraph.
On one of the days we were up in Abbotsford everyone had decided to congregate at my Uncle Bob and Aunt Shan's house to visit with them and Grandma was there. We were eating lunch of pizza and enjoying each other's company. For those of you who know my son, he's totally a 2 year old and anything with buttons he can't leave alone. My aunt Shan has a fandangly fridge with buttons galore and unbeknownst to me he had discovered it and it was not childproof. My mom kept trying to get my attention but of course I was trying to socialize and didn't hear her the first couple times (or tuned her out sorry mom) finally she got my attention and told me that Gavin was pressing the buttons and I needed to get him away but because I had heard her the first few times and was for some reason getting mad about being bothered I for some reason just blew up. I yelled "Mom I heard you, leave it alone" at the top of my lungs and everyone went silent. My grandmother preceded to yell at me to not talk to my mother that way and that hers was dead and that she wishes she had her mother etc. etc. while the rest of the family was still in shock like "what's her problem?" I at the same time didn't realize why I had done it and just thought it was weird that I flew off like that. We enjoyed our stay in Abbotsford and a few days later went home.

Like usual every month (I should have stock in pregnancy tests, I'd be rich) my cycle came late. Every month I take a test, every month its negative . . . I wait and "Aunt Flow" usually appears a couple days later and I move on like every month. I went to the bathroom, did the test and didn't even want to look at it because I knew it was going to be negative so I walked away. I set the timer and then when I came back it had already turned positive and I let out a loud scream. Spencer came running like I had seen a spider and was ready to squish it. He sat in the doorway puzzled while I held up the triumphant stick and yelled "We're Pregnant!" and immediately I started crying. Understand, this has never happened where I get pregnant on my own. It just doesn't, I've come to deal with the fact that to have babies I have to take medication and go through rigorous tests to get my little ones. I couldn't believe it I was in shock and then immediately I was like "Spencer where's the phone? I need to call my mom!" I called her and could barely get the news out to my mom. All I heard on the other end was "NO WAY!" or at least that's all I remember. I called my best friend and we both cried. The rest is history, we found out that Gavin will have a little brother in December and we've decided to call him Rowan Spencer Beard, Spencer wants a Junior but I said no so this is as close as he gets. I am in my 6th month and enjoying every kick and organ shove even though everyone around me hears me complain about how uncomfortable or tired I am I really am enjoying it, REALLY! This pregnancy has been a lot harder then Gavin's because his was a breeze but that's alright. My sister Erin said "I think with each baby heavenly father changes the difficulty, if they were all easy we'd have 20 children and so making them different difficulties helps us decide how many are up there waiting for us." Onward and upward as they say, enjoy.