MMmmmmm Butt Bread!

My birthday was on September 3rd. My mom has had this thing with making bread our entire lives and makes her own bread because store bought bread for some reason doesn't go bad. I have been having the thought lately when I went to make toast and I looked at this partial loaf of bread and thought "hmmm how long have we had this?" I checked the date on it and it was 5 months old and it wasn't moldie or crusty or even bad smelling. What is in this stuff?

I decided enough was enough with crazy preservatives. Plus as a kid I remember coming home to the smell of fresh baked bread and I want that for my kids. I asked my parents for a bread machine for my birthday and they bought me one. It's so purdy! The day after I decided to make a loaf of bread. It turned out great and tastes wonderful, I wanted to post a picture online to show a few friends because of course I was proud, and after the pic was taken I started busting out laughing. "OMG it looks like a butt!" one of my friends messaged me after I sent her the picture. Sure enough it looked like a rear end. I just messaged her back and said "Hmmm no butt bread for you" and I went and cut a slice and ate it. Heres to butt bread, and all the other wonderful loaves careof my parents and the bread machine they bought me. Yay!