This morning I woke up like any other day and stumbled my way into the bathroom. I looked down and there was clothes on the floor from my husband showering and right in the middle of that was a lightsaber. First question that came to my mind was "Why is there a Lightsaber in my bathroom?" Like most people who are parents of little kids there is lots of questions that come out of my mouth and things I say on a daily basis that I never thought I'd say. . . Until I had little boys . . . Here is a list, I'm sure you can relate and laugh at the same time.
1. Why is there a lightsaber in my bathroom?
2. Don't sit on the cat, bite the cat, put a blanket over the cat, oh the cat scratched you? Well maybe next time you'll leave her alone like I warned you the last 100 times. Don't TOUCH the cat! (5 mins later they are bugging the cat again)
3. I don't speak wine, when you decide to talk normal then I'll talk to you.
4. Thank you for showing me your gigantic booger but no I don't want to keep it, please go get a tissue and throw it in the garbage.
5. (This one is a daily occurence) Get off your brother!
6. You talk or say another word and you'll be forced to hold hands until you love each other!
7. Oh you want a drink? That's nice I want a million dollars
8. You need to point down so you don't pee on the floor, toilet or your own pants. I know we've talked about this before.
9. You're bored? I have a toilet that needs cleaning . . . oh you aren't bored now? It's a miracle!
10. All three kids are crying for some reason or another around naptime : Me - Oh we're all crying now? Can I cry too? Wahhhhh (cue all three stopping crying and laughing at me. Works every time)
11. Could you get off the back of the furniture.
12. (during potty training) Mommy doesn't pee in front of the tv, Daddy doesn't pee in front of the tv, Gavin doesn't pee in front of the tv so you can't either we are banishing the potty from the living room. *cue crying*
13. Stop chewing on your blanket.
14. No you can't wear your sister's pink elephant diaper.
15. Little boys make noises ALL. the. time so I hear myself saying be quiet a lot.
16. I'm hungry! Hi Hungry I'm Mommy Nice to meet you. Do you know where Rowan went?
17. I know it's really fun but could you please not spray the febreeze and make mommy want to choke from the smell.
18. Rowan my keys and the toe nail clippers are not a gun go put them back where they were!
19. Sit down while you're eating or I'll duct tape you to your chair.
20. Dear son, could you please not wait until you almost pee your pants to yell "I gotta go pee!" and then have to grab you and make a mad dash up the steep 13 stairs to the bathroom just to make it on time. I know peeing is inconvenient for you but it would really help me out.
21. No you can't watch 20 episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba, I think I'll go crazy if I see one more episode.
22. Yes hitting your head will hurt your brain
23. Stop fake burping who taught you that? Daddy? oh great!
24. You don't need to announce every time you're done going potty or poop or hey you just farted! Awesome! I think I could've lived without the newflash!
25. No you can't have candy for breakfast
26. Don't pull the strings on your socks, as hard as it is to believe that's why your socks get holes
27. No you can't go jump in the puddles with your regular shoes on
28. Don't push your little sister down the stairs.
29. There's a lot of stuff I don't want to do but I do anyway, I don't want to wipe your butt but I do.
30. And last but not least Don't eat gum off the park bench! It's not free gum it's disgusting *cue gagging noises*
This has been a collection of things I never thought I'd say and has been going through my head all morning. Hope you enjoyed! Anyone have anymore fun ones to add? I couldn't think of them all but I'm sure there's more lol.
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