It doesn't show signs of stopping...

Last night we were snowed in at my mom's house. I had decided I wanted to hang out at their house because my little sister Chelsea was flying in and they were going to get her from the airport yesterday afternoon. They headed up there in the snow and ice and made it with a little difficulty to pick her up all the while I stayed at their house with the boys (Austen, Tanner, Gavin and Rowan) just to save them from having to take the van which has not so good brakes and Shannon's car has 4 wheel drive. It took them a while to get home but they made it safe and sound but the snow hasn't stopped since it started a couple days ago. Spencer worked until 8pm last night and when he finally arrived at their house we thought about it and decided to bunker down here for the night last night because the roads were scary and our parking lot in our apartments would've been insanely full of snow. At this point though it doesn't show signs of stopping and I hate to take over the bedroom upstairs again from Chelsea but I dunno if we are going home again tonight. We shall see what its like. We haven't seen snow like this in years, its beautiful but dangerous. As our favorite radio station calls it, its Winterocalypse 2008! Hope everyone else is safe and warm with this crazy weather, can't wait to go play in it tomorrow. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Two boys, no time or energy ugh!

Ok Ok I know i just had a baby like 2 weeks ago or so but I feel like the biggest slob in the world. First let me say I have no excuse because we got snow yesterday and I've been stuck in the house with the kids while Spencer works 12 hour days so I could've cleaned already and made the house look nice mostly so I feel better but I just have no energy or drive to do it. I wish I did! It seems it took me a week or so before the adrenaline from giving birth to wear off (don't know how this is possible) but now I'm exhausted! Part of my issue is I wish we still had our washer/dryer that the apartments make us rent. We really really can not afford to pay for one and can't really afford to buy one atm so laundry piles up and we can take it to parent's houses but it only lasts a couple days before its piling up again seeing as I have two sets of diapers to change and accident inevitably happen ie. Rowan is a quick draw and seems to pee on a couple sleepers, Gavin on the occasion will pee through (I need to potty train but also don't have the energy). So I look around at my messy living room, my disheveled bedroom and my downright ridiculous bathroom and am now determined something must be done! I am going to buck up and do some cleaning even if its only one room at a time as I have some energy it will be done! I mean that's one of my job descriptions as a stay at home mom right? I know I can hear you SAHMs laughing at me because I know your houses aren't perfect but sheesh you'd scream and run if you saw this place. So I resolve to have this place clean, I will post pics later if it actually happens because who doesn't want to show off a nice clean house? If it does happen then I will try and put up the christmas tree I'm a slacker there too, the key word is TRY. Ok off we go!

Welcome Rowan! (Labor story and pics)

I am sorry I haven't updated my blog in a while. Things have been busy since last December 4th when we finally welcomed Rowan Spencer Beard to our family. I have been busy trying to breastfeed and get used to having two boys instead of one, its been fairly busy and new but enjoyable so far. Rowan is very mild mannered and so far a happy and healthy boy. Gavin is adjusting to having his little brother here, he is as in love with him as Spencer and I which makes me happy. So about 4 days before the event happened my older sister who is a professional photographer was in town and snuck in some beautiful maternity shots of my max size before he was born that I would share a few of. She already posted a few on her blog but I am so happy with them and figured I'd show how big I got before I shared my labor story. These were taken on November 29th.

So that was my max size, I felt huge but I'm so glad that I took these because pregnancy is so beautiful and I can show him later how I looked when I was pregnant with him. I wish now that I had some done with Gavin but I have some regular belly pics with him. Now on to my labor story. I woke up at 3:45am on Thursday December 4th and needed to go to the bathroom. I made it to the bathroom and almost to the toilet when SPLOOSH my water broke on the floor! I have been told and read that this only happens to about 15% of women so I couldn't believe it had happened! I called to Spencer that my water had broken and it was time. He woke out of a stupor and was all groggy and didn't believe me at first. We packed up what we needed of toiletries and the bag for Gavin and took him to my parent's house and headed to the hospital. All the while my contractions started to get worse and worse. When we arrived at the hospital I was checked and I was at 3 cms. They got me all set up in a room and I walked for about an hour in the halls. We came back to the room and I listened to music and danced some. I decided they were getting pretty painful so I wanted to get into the tub and see if it helped. It was lovely! Finally probably 3 or 4 hours later at about 9:00am the nurse came and checked me and I was at a 5 1/2 cm and decided I wanted to stay in bed and rest and watch tv. As the hours passed I asked Spencer when he thought the baby would be born and he predicted noonish. I progressed really fast, about a cm an hour and was in a good about of pain by 11:15am when the doctor arrived with his resident Dr. Nauft. Now I forgot to mention I had the best Nurse EVER! She told me when she first arrived that she would only listen to what I wanted and no matter what she would do what I wanted. At this point I was about 9 cms and almost dilated and in a lot of pain, the doctors wanted to check me with the next contraction and Tyrra my nurse said I wasn't ready and she'd let them know when I was ready to be checked. A couple more contractions and I guess my voice changed and she said I was ready. It hurt so much but luckily for me I had 5 minute breaks til the very end of everything so it was bareable. I can't say I didn't ask for the drugs in my IV but it was too late and they couldn't give me any. At that point I was ready to push and it didn't take long to get him out. 4 pushes and my beautiful boy was here! 7 lbs 12 ozs at 11:58am so Spencer was almost dead on for time. He is quite fair, blonde hair and we're unsure of his eye color but they are lighter then Gavin's ever were. Here's some pics from the hospital and since he was born. Welcome Baby Rowan!

Mild Contractions and Talking progress

So since like 2 days ago I've been having mild contractions. Enough to take my breath away but nothing big and close enough together to make me think he's coming soon. That may change here soon but we'll see. I lost my mucus plug I think (I know gross) and that's what started it all. I hope it picks up and we can have him before Thanksgiving. I may even go for a walk here in a bit to see if it changes anything.

Gavin is making some good progress with his talking, thanks to a lot in part because of Austen and Tanner, his older cousins and Thomas the Tank Engine. He copies the boys all the time and is picking up lots of words and sentences and then he watches Thomas once a day and memorizes a lot of what they say, it makes me laugh because when he's playing with his trains he narrates his own stories and its fun to listen to. I took a video of him singing along to his favorite song in the video "The Great Discovery." I get these songs in my head and it just about drives me nuts but he's happy so I am too. I was sitting here checking my e'mail and Gavin was over by the tv wanting something, I asked him what he needed and he said "Mommy, watch Thomas Please" which shocked me and my mom has talked to a speech therapist at the school she works at and they said 3 word sentences at 3 is good so it encourages me a lot. Here's the video, he doesn't quite know all the words but sings along anyway lol. Enjoy.

Am I next yet?

Ok I know you all are sick of hearing about my pregnancy ups and downs but seriously. Only 29 days to go and I'm feeling it big time. I am 36 weeks pregnant and now that countdown is on I swear it has gotten harder. I go on a website daily for pregnant women or women with children and I share my woes with them ( I think its the main people that can understand because they are all due in December) hence why I haven't updated every day because if I did, it would go a little something like this . . . . "Today the hiccups were horrible" "Pregnancy is killing me" and so on until you probably would be like ok we get it, you're tired of being pregnant, talk about something else lol. Phew speaking of hiccups they finally stopped just a second ago. Thank you Rowan for testing your diaphram out yet AGAIN today.

We are feeling the crunch though, I am starting to get my hospital bag ready. The last person due before me (of my personal friends) just had her baby boy last night. She was 10 days overdue, oh heavens I hope I don't do that and he was 8 lbs 14 oz and all is well with mom and baby. So now I figure, its a countdown to my baby shower (November 22nd) and then its time to evict or at least try to he may have different plans. I think it would be really cool if I could have him right before Thanksgiving so that my sister Erin and my Brother in law Jason and his wife Stephanie and there kids could see him before they go back to Montana. That would be cool and I've tried to reason with Rowan that this would be great but somehow I don't think he's going to cooperate but you never know.

There's so much to do and I know I'm going to forget something, I wrote out what we still really NEED to have before he's born and am crossing off the few things (ie. breast pump, bottles, liners, breast pads, milk freezer bag storage, games to play while in labor etc.) all this stuff hasn't been purchased yet so once the baby shower is done we're going shopping! Everyone I talk to says I'm not going to make it to my due date but we'll see, I am still of the mind set that I don't want to get my hopes up because knowing me I'll go overdue lol. I did that with Gavin and he didn't want to come out. I thought to myself at the time, oh maybe I'll get the tax break for 2005 and sure enough he waited til January 5th 2006 to make his appearance. Oh well, I can dream but not hold my breath on it right? Here's my latest belly pic for you guys. I am feeling large and in charge and like I ran out of room 2 weeks ago lol.

5 weeks and counting!

I made it to Halloween! Next holiday is Thanksgiving and once that comes and goes Rowan is free to make his appearance.

So tomorrow is technically 6 weeks but I go by this ticker that shows 5 weeks 6 days. I plan to go natural and into labor on my own this time so I am probably going to go overdue but I am counting down just the same in hopes that shortly after Thanksgiving the Turkey and Pumpkin Pie will fatten him up enough to make him want to come out (perfect bribery in my opinion). That's the lovely unpredictability of having a child. When I told my friend about bribing him with Turkey she said "Wow the mental image for that is astounding . . . . You holding a turkey leg ummm . . . . well . . . .down there and calling for Rowan to come get the Turkey leg" The places people's minds go lol.

Halloween was pretty fun, Gavin is starting to get the hang of the trick or treating thing with help from his older cousins who are his greatest example of how to do things. He dressed as a plump spider and had his spider bucket in tow. We headed out at 6:00ish and walked around the block and around the neighborhood. I dunno if its just because I'm pregnant and my two year old already has a hard enough time with getting scared of clowns let alone anything else but I couldn't believe the stupidity of grown ADULTS! There was a man handing out candy at his house and thought it funny to wear this gruesome "phantom of the opera" type mask with blood. Of course Gavin turns tail and doesn't want to go near him, I said to him could you take your mask off so he can see you're not scary and he wouldn't do it! So I grabbed the candy from him, gave him a dirty look and left. The worst offender though was this house where a woman answered the door with two dogs so we were all distracted by the smallest (about the size of a rat) I accidentally stepped on it at one point. Well I was so distracted that I didn't see her son stick his head out the door with a horrible skeleton mask with big fangs until Gavin screamed bloody murder and clung to my legs. I was about ready to sock this kid until his mom did it for me and told him there is a little guy out here don't be dumb. Halloween and being scared when you know its fake is all good and dandy but when there is little kids that think its real, I think its terribly inapropriate and wish people would tone it down for the little ones. Luckily for us Gavin is resilient and didn't have nightmares. Sadly I didn't realize my camera's battery was dieing when we got to my parent's house so pictures will have to be sent to me and posted at a later time. Watch for updates. Hope you all had a wonderful Halloween!

Tag I guess I'm it?!

Ok I am supposed to write 7 things you may not know about me....oooh tough one seeing as most of the people who read my blog (that I'm aware of) know a lot about me, heck I grew up and was birthed by most of them lol, well only one birthed me but yeah . . . . Anywho . . . .

1. Growing up I was really Shy . . . I know hard to believe but apparently according to my mom it bordered on being rude because I wouldn't talk to anyone. I would hide behind my parents and not talk. It wasn't until High School that I kind of came out of my proverbial "shell."

2. I love to draw, in fact I drew a mural on my bedroom wall in the last house we lived in, in Canada. It was one of the selling points of our house at the time, there was a little girl who loved it and wanted it for her room. It was disney characters and my dad allowed me to paint it when he discovered I had drawn on the wall and was actually quite good.

3. I was Frenchy in my High School Musical's version of Grease. I switched off nights with another girl and my mom was the hairdresser for our production and she made a pink wig for me. I had teased hair and actually smoked herbal cigarettes for acting purposes of course.

4. I took 3 years of Japanese in high school. Now don't get me wrong I am far from fluent, I actually understand more then I speak. Its fun to understand some when people are talking in front of me too. I remember at one point, my cousin Jeremy married a Japanese woman and forgot I wasn't Japanese and asked me what time it was in Japanese and I answered her in English. The reaction was quite funny "Hey Shoko you know you just asked me what the time was in Japanese right?" "oh I did?! woops, and you understood me?" "yep I am learning it in school".

5. I love to Jive! I know #3 made it a lot easier to learn how to Jive Dance but I am afraid I'm not as light on my feet as I used to be. I went on a couple dates with a guy named Ben who took me to a little club downtown in Olympia that had Jive Dancing and it was for all ages no drinking once a week. I went on a date with him one night and by the end he thought I was going to die because I get overheated really easily, my face gets red but it was a blast! Unfortunately my husband is a good dancer but not as coordinated enough to learn to Jive. We'll stick to techno music and rave dancing lol.

6. My mom pretty much picked out my husband. Now I know what you're thinking, how is this possible? Yes its true AND he served his mission in Canada but not where I am from so we met here in Olympia. My mom will deny this up and down and claims she doesn't remember this but I swear to you every time she'd come home she would tell me she saw him at an activity and that I would really like him, he's totally my type yada yada. He had just gotten off his mission and was 4 1/2 years older then me, I was 18, and anyone my mom picked out of course was not my type. I saw him at church while sitting next to my mom on the couch and told her I thought that guy was cute and her reaction was "THATS Spencer Beard!" we met and the rest is history.

7. I have a birth mark on my shoulder that is in the shape of an "S." My older sister noticed it and pointed it out to me. I joke that my freckles are trying to spell out my name and just haven't finished yet. Spencer says I was branded for him apparently. Either way its a weird coincidence/ oddity.

An actual picture of my birthmark weird no?

Ok TAG, Mom, Chelsea M, and Jenny B you're it!

Ahhh the joys of hormones . . .

I'm sitting here by myself and Gavin is napping. Spencer has the day off and went over to a buddy's house to hang out for a bit and I'm so fricken tired! You know how when you're tired you get that either really giddy past tired laugh or even the everything makes you cry thing? I think I'm there. It may help that I'm 8 months pregnant and the combination is lethal when it comes to emotionally holding it together.

So I decided to read my mom's blog (warning incoming tear fest from me). It doesn't take much on my mom's blog to get me crying, same with my sister in law Shelley's bless their hearts. But get this, my mom's latest blog isn't even cry worthy, in fact its quite cute and funny, and what am I doing? Blubbering like my closest friend has died or something. What the hey? I would say I'm past tired and so ready to be done with crazy hormones. I think that's why Spencer ran away to his friend's house because he needed a break from the overflowing emotions I am dealing with lol. I find myself wining so much lately about every ache and pain and I started crying earlier and apologizing to Spencer for my wining because nobody should have to listen to me 24/7 and he does without complaint, what a good man I've got.

Its amazing to me what us women have to go through to have a baby, not to single myself out but my situation especially just makes me apreciate my babies so much more I think. I usually tell people that "my children are pains in my butt, literally" because of the shots I have to have in my butt until I'm out of the first trimester. I'm sure others have it a whole lot worse but it kind of sucks. My mom said this baby boy is going to be bigger I think, which I think is the truth, I don't really remember Gavin taking up every inch of my stomach like Rowan has, in that case maybe the natural aproach just won't be happening, we'll see how I feel when it comes to being in labor. I am the QUEEN of hormones though, just ask my sisters. You know when you grow up with 3 sisters and when asked who's the worst PMSer they all point a finger at me that its pretty bad, I even say I am too, which is funny because personally I think I am the most mellow when I'm pregnant, my hormones seem to be fully balanced and mood swings are less then when I'm not pregnant . . . . so so sad. My sister's favorite example of this is when I was a teenager and was having a particularly hormonal day, I think Erin or Shannon told a blonde joke and I exploded at them, it wasn't meant to be pointed at me but I took total offense and started crying. I blubbered "nobody ever tells a brunette joke about you, why do they always tell blonde jokes about me?" They stopped me and said look at what you're doing Stephanie, and I started laughing and then I got mad and then back to crying. It was your classic crazy multiple personality mood swings. To this day I can never live that down. But I am tired, like a lot of moms out there that are either about to have a new baby or have a new one it makes it very hard to sleep. Once he is out I am sure I will sleep a little bit more comfortably but not really much more then I am at the moment. I guess I need to start getting used to it.

Pumpkin patch . . . Apple cider = Bees!

We decided a week or so ago to go to the pumpkin patch at Lattin's Cider Mill. This is my favorite place to go when fall hits and they have the most amazing Hot Apple Cider and Apple Fritters ever! They make both fresh and I had to have some before we headed out to pick our pumpkin from the patch. Little did I know . . . Bees like cider?! We walked down to the goats and other animals first and I seriously got dive bombed and attacked left and right by stinkin bees! They weren't just being pesky they were seriously attacking my cider like it was their treasure and I had stolen it. I finally got to the point where I was clear of bees or wasps and we went down to the pumpkin patch and picked out a pumpkin to bring home. We headed back to pay for it and I got attacked again! They buzzed next to my ears and attempted to assault my cider again. It just about drove me nuts! Despite the bees though we had a great time at the mill. Gavin was super tired because we decided to go right around nap time and crabbiness insued as you can see from the pics. I am sure we'll make a few more trips up there before halloween to get more fritters and apple cider, I wonder if they have a bee repellant though? I'll have to look into that. Who knew? Here's a few pics.

Spencer felt the need to compare the size of my belly to a pumpkin lol, I'm not that big!

Gavin Falling Asleep

8 Month Pregnant and feeling huge!

Trying to convince Gavin the little pumpkin is cool and he should take his picture with it

Spencer makes a final attempt but Gavin is fed up and ready for his nap. Poor guy!

First thing out of his mouth . . . .

For those of you who intimately know my son, he speaks his own language. I don't know where it came from or how but he has invented his own language and jabbers away like we know what he is saying, I say he's evolved past English and feels his language is better. Most recently I have noticed more and more words and little sentences in English getting added to his vocabulary. My favorite is when the phone rings and he shouts "Chesh, PHONE!" or "Shan! Phone" (my parents version of an intercom when the phone is for someone is to shout across the house). Feel pleased Auntie Chelsea that he does know your name in your absence and thinks the phone is for you. A few new additions though are Thomas related and quite funny, last night he started saying Duncan but he thinks Toby is Duncan and there's no convincing him otherwise (I made the mistake of calling it that by mistake). He also every once in a while mixes my nephews Austen and Tanner's names up, in fact he used to call both of them Austen until I insisted that that's Tanner not Austen and finally convinced him. I know these are small but to me when new english comes out its a victory seeing as for a long time he would solely speak in "Gavinese." Now to the title of this blog. I kid you not, this Thomas thing is becoming quite the obsession, last night we were at Grandma Murley's and she has the priviledge of having Auntie Shannon live with her and she has quite the collection of Thomas'. It always pleases me when Gavin doesn't want to leave somewhere because it means he loves being with someone either then me or Spencer. Last night we stayed up late for him, he's a bit of a night owl like us, he was playing away with Thomas and when we said it was time to go he yelled NO! and ran to hide by Granddad like "Granddad save me!" We finally wrestled the trains from his hands and got his jacket on and as we were headed out the door he was crying because he didn't want to leave. Every morning the first thing out of his mouth before anything is Thomas? and he gets to watch a video or two while eating breakfast. After that though I have to limit it because I will go crazy from hearing that theme song over and over and it'll get stuck in my head. What can I say there's worse things he could be obsessed with right?

Newest phrases learned from Thomas the Tank Engine:

*Ready? Set! Go!
*Toot Toot (many variations)
*Duncan
*What are you doing Thomas? Followed by OH NO!
*Re-enacting Thomas getting stuck in the snow and Terrence the tractor engine coming to save him. Very comical and accurate.
*Its a Thomas
*Look out Percy!
*Oh Sorry
*Thomas you alright?
*Duncan please help Thomas (newly heard this morning from the kitchen)
I'm sure there are more but they are mixed with Gavinese and sometimes I have to listen really hard to hear these, he's coming along though and we hope he catches up talking.

New Obsession Yay!

This past week we discovered our son Gavin has a new love when we were at my mom's house. If you've read my sister Erin's blog, you'll see Evan my nephew who is 4 months older then Gavin is obsessed with the same thing, what can I say? They are definately similar and all boy! My older sister Shannon has two boys who at one point were in love with Thomas the Tank Engine and anything having to do with trains so their house is absolutely full of trains everywhere. Up until recently we had Erin's train table that she was so lucky to get when working at an educational toy store but its gone back to Canada with her because Evan is so in love. Shannon replaced it with her own that she purchased and has been lieing in wait under her bed, its not as cool but it is a close second to Erin's.

How the discovery of trains started:

We decided to go on a date night to the movies and my parents watched Gavin for the evening. When we came to pick him up he was sitting with Auntie Shannon watching Thomas and was so enthralled. Every day since then, when we went to their house he'd find a Thomas and make train whistle noises and sit for a long time playing with just trains. My sister said "you need to get that kid some trains, look at him!" My mom being the awesome Grandma that she is has a "Grandma Closet" and went searching to see what she could find and found a brand new train named Murdoch that he has preceded to take everywhere with him since he got it. We went to Costco the same day and I searched for anything Thomas and lo and behold! They just came out with a new 60 min video "Thomas and the Great Discovery" can you guess how many times we've watched this movie so far? I stopped counting. So we are starting to slowly feed his love for Thomas and trains because hey, there could be worse things to get obsessed with, at least this is educational.

Interesting facts about Thomas:

I used to watch Thomas when I was younger, that's how long its been on and it was called Shining Time Station for the purposes of the American version when I watched it. There was usually in the beginning a scene with real people in it and eventually some kids would call upon "Mister Conductor" which was a tiny little conductor from the island of Sodor who would precede to tell a story about Thomas and his friends. The list of men who have played "Mister Conductor" include the original which was Ringo Starr and George Carlin, after the station part of the show went away the Narrator of the stories has also included Alec Baldwin and now in the new movie is Pierce Brosnan. Included in the original cast and regulars of Shining Time Station were Didi Conn (also known as the original Frenchie from the Grease Movie), Lloyd Bridges (actor and father to Jeff and Beau Bridges), Rachel Miner (ex wife of actor McCauley Calkin) and the list goes on. Its interesting the small roles that actors take before they are super famous or are already famous and just want to take the role.

Thank you Auntie Shannon for your use of trains and everything to go with them, I am sure we will have a lot of train talk in this house for a while and I'm having another boy so I'm also pretty sure at one point he'll be in love with it too.

Ouch my ribs!

I will be 30 weeks on Sunday, and am finding it hard to breath from our unborn child sticking his feet up in my ribs and causing me to have a hard time breathing. I figure for the past week or so he's been stuck upside down (or at least I think he is) its hard to tell but I certainly get kicks and movements a lot up top of my belly. I can't cross my arms across my belly without getting a huge kick like "Mom stop squishing me!" It shocks me sometimes how hard he kicks. I didn't ever remember being this tired but its amazing how you forget. I think Heavenly Father does this so we will have more then one child. As much as I complain I think of those who haven't been able to experience and take in every kick with a smile and a reminder that yes mom I'm still here, alive and kickin (literally).

This pregnancy in comparison to Gavin's has gone super fast, in fact I can't believe I will only have 70 days on Sunday. With Gavin I was pregnant for like 2 years after the 3 miscarriages and his pregnancy added together so I was SO ready for him to come, I needed the end result after all that pain. This baby I don't feel as rushed and its going so fast. My cousin just had her baby a month early and I got a bit jealous but at the same time I think I can wait (I say this now but take my word for it toward the end I will be singing another tune) I want to go into labor on my own so I have a feeling I will be waiting a while. I was induced with Gavin and didn't like the experience of it and he probably couldn't "cooked" for longer after I saw he was only 7 lbs 3 ozs. I feel really reflective tonight probably because things have changed in the past few weeks drastically and it won't be long til I have two boys to take care of. My boys.

New Job

Spencer started his orientation at his new job today. He has been out of work since the 12th of September and a good friend of ours found him a job working with developmentally disabled adults as their aid. Its interesting, the first few days he was home he just about drove me nuts and now that he's back at work all day I am kind of lost with nothing to do. Makes me realize how much he does for me and how much I enjoy his company.

Ok so I'm going to put this in writing and whoever reads this (if anyone does) needs to hold me to it because I have had the worst attitude in the past about it. I am going to get my license before this baby comes. I know I've said it for the past what? 5 or 6 years but I need to. Spencer is going to be working 12 hour days at this new job and I don't think I could stand staying at home that long by myself without being able to go somewhere. I have less than 11 weeks to do this so I'm on a time crunch before this baby gets here so bug me about it til I do it please!!!!

Ok with that said, I hope this goal actually happens. Deiter F. Uchtdorf in his talk at the Relief Society Broadcast said that some people's struggles are the fear of failure . . . . that's pretty much me every time I think about taking the driving test but I know I have to get over it and do it and will be so much happier when I do. Wish me luck in this goal.

Fireproof "that one little part"

We have been waiting to hear about a job for Spencer. He is even out right now pounding the pavement and we have been praying and I get the comfort I need when I feel so tired and alone in this. Heavenly Father puts people in our lives for a reason I know this. We have a couple that lives two doors down from us that are not of our faith but have similar beliefs and they are dear friends to us and have made us dinner on many occasions even though they are not well off themselves but they have food and share of their abundance to add our company to those in their house.

The other night they wanted to see this new movie that came out called Fireproof. Lets just say the title is very apropriate for a lot of things right now for me. We didn't have the money to pay for the movie and didn't have childcare for our son while we went to the movie if we did have the money. They offered to pay for our admission and we asked my mom and dad to watch Gavin while we went and I am so glad we did. I didn't realize when we went to it that it was a christian movie that they were showing in a regular theater and both showings at our time slot were full to the brim. Now how's that for showing the christian support? My thought on that is wow how amazing that a movie with a good message and no swearing, crude humor, fornication, sex, drugs, violence would sell out on the first night it was showing.

In these the last days that's all there is. Its a reminder to me of a talk someone gave when I was back in young women's and I was at Youth Conference. I believe it was titled "That one little part" I can't remember who spoke but they talked about how movies nowadays are good except for that one little part that is slipped in and how it was equated to Satan, he doesn't come out and blatantly say do this horrible bad thing all at once, he slips it into our every day things until we justify "Oh its just that one little part the rest was good" when in reality its like taking salt and pepper and dumping salt into a bowl and then mixing the tiniest bit of pepper in, how many of us can get the pepper totally out of the salt? Without great processing and long hours of sitting picking every bit out its nearly impossible! Its the same way with that "one little part" it enters our thoughts and can not be taken out until we work so hard and repent and try to replace it with something else until finally we are clean again. I know with me I've even had this thought and told people "wow that was a great movie but they could've left out that one little part" I think I even said it the other day when I was watching the movie Speed Racer when we rented it. It was such a good movie for kids and funny and amazing special effects but that one little part they added that could've been left out and it wouldn't have to PG was the language. They added words that could've just been left out and the movie would've been just as good but someone felt the need to make it rated PG and added that in.

Anywho back to the movie, it was a movie about a fire fighter that was so consumed with work and how he got respect from that and not from his wife and it was going to cost him his marriage because he wasn't putting his whole heart into it and caring about what she needed. His dad gives him what he calls the "Love Dare" where he sends him this book that has him do things for his wife and himself for 40 days and take one at a time until hopefully by the end it will help him keep his marriage. Only problem was that the man didn't include the Lord in the process at first and about halfway his wife has asked him for a divorce and he finally realizes that he can't do it alone. He is talking to his dad on one of their many meetings and walks and they come across this cross in the woods that they use for a bible camp. This part of the movie really hit me hard because I had never thought of anything this way til now. He says to his dad, "Dad I've tried all that the book says, I bought her flowers, said kind words or nothing at all, made her dinner, cleaned the house, tried to show her how much I love her and want this to work and she all but spits in my face with her words and her actions how can I love someone who spits in my face? How am I supposed to keep trying and do this when she says she doesn't love me and treats me like this? And the father is standing right next to the cross and says "Well there is someone else that loves us that was willing to be spit on, insulted, tortured and die for our sins and no matter what anyone did to him he continued to love us, you need to follow in his example and ask for forgiveness from the Lord before any of this is going to work. How are you expecting her to forgive you when you haven't asked him to forgive you?" It was such a strong message to me. I felt the spirit so strong at that moment and of course the man started to include the Lord in his process, no longer did it matter whether she responded physically but that he felt what he was doing was pleasing to the Lord. He was talking with a friend at one point about religion and how he was this great firefighter and felt fireproof but when it came to this relationship he didn't know how to fix it totally and his friend said "being fireproof doesn't mean that you're immune to fire and don't get burned it just means that when the fire comes you will be strong enough to withstand it." So many good messages in the movie, kind of a chick flick but still good nonetheless. I wish there was more people willing to make a movie with such good messages and no "little part" in it that makes it not worth going to. I enjoyed this so much and the opportunity to spend time with good friends and share in the spirit of the Lord while still being entertained on a Friday night.

We have been so blessed!

Monday Spencer got the final word that he was fired from his job at Safeway and he already has an interview and most likely the job working for a company called Life Force which helps care for Developmentally Disabled Adults in their homes. This wouldn't have been possible without the help of so many friends of ours and prayers of family. Our dear friends Jon and AC who live two doors down have been so helpful with getting Spencer this job (Jon works for the same company) in the mean time he'll work for them and AC works for the state and is keeping her eye out for jobs for Spencer there. We also have had friends Chris and Stephanie Vella who have been helping us with a job interview at Top Foods and they opened their home to us for dinner a couple nights and keeping us distracted during Spencer's waiting period when he was suspended. Brad and Teona Bates have also opened their home to us for dinner so it has made me feel very happy we have the friends we do. I was so afraid being 7 months pregnant and losing our income. It just reaffirms that when you follow what you are supposed to do and pray and fast for help you will recieve the blessings you need at the time. I felt scared and in turn somewhat angry but my husband reminded me that we have to put our will in line with what the Lord's will for us is and when we both did this, prayed and fasted we recieved these blessings and I am so greatful I know what I do. With all my thanks I need to thank the Lord for helping us through this trying time, without his help none of this would be possible.

Nothing like a sick kid....

To take your mind off your problems. Yesterday was a hard Sunday but good just the same. It was one of those Sundays where we didn't know what was going to happen with our job situation and I was having a really hard time praying for comfort for the hormones had taken over and I didn't know what to do. We were sitting there in Sacrament and it was like every talk was specifically for me. First talk was about prayer and how we need to put our will in line with the Lord's . . . I've been trying to do this for the past 10 days Spencer was suspended but then Saturday for some reason I couldn't hold it together anymore. Staying distracted in these situations helps a lot and we've had a lot of friends to help us (thanks guys we love you for this). I sat and cried a lot while the talk went on and Gavin was standing cradling his head in my lap. I just thought he was kind of sleepy and he's snuggly a lot so I didn't think anything of it. After the first talk I needed to go continue to cry and pray so the only place I could think of to go was to the mother's lounge where nobody would see me and I could still listen to the talks. As I left sacrament I passed Gavin along to my husband and I went. I blew my nose and the second talk started, the topic: The straight and narrow path and how our Heavenly Father is there for us to help us stay on it no matter what the situation. It was so hard to keep it together so I sat and cried some more. As I sat there my best friend Leahona who just had a baby 2 1/2 weeks ago came in to feed her daughter and we sat and talked. She mentioned that Gavin had fallen asleep on the bench in church which is really unlike him. I sat while she fed her daughter Iyla and they had the choir sing a song (don't remember what it was) but it was another thing specifically for me. Once sacrament was over I went and taught my class of 11/12 year olds and went to primary with our only 11 year old left. When we went to pick Gavin up he was still lethargic and laying on the nursery leader's shoulder. She said he's been really tired and even when we do singing time which he usually loves and talks all the way through he was quiet and almost falling asleep. I said to her that maybe he's going to grow and was having a sleepy day. When we got home Gavin had fallen asleep again and I checked his temperature and he was burning up. Can't believe I missed it til now! I checked his temp and it was 100.2 F so we gave him some tylenol and put him down for a nap seeing as he wasn't hungry and was already asleep. When he woke up he was all sweaty and Spencer thought maybe he had broken his fever. A couple hours later it was still up and so we kept him comfy and cared for him on the couch. Its really rare for Gavin to get sick so we were kind of stumped. He didn't want to eat anything but bread and water and sleep but only had the symptom of the fever. Before bed I gave him Tylenol and a luke warm bath to cool him and he seemed to be his old self in fact he didn't want to go to bed.

This morning on the flip side I woke up at 7am to go to the bathroom and I could hear him awake and making noises like he was really uncomfortable. I went in and he was up and checked his temp again and he was at 100.9 F. I preceded to take him downstairs and he drank a ton of water and threw a bit of it up. He was so hot! Poor guy. He lay on the couch wining and uncomfortable. He just rested, funny thing about him is his favorite toy is still to this day a spiderman teether stuffy I bought for him before he was born so he was snuggled up with his blanket and Spiderman watching Cars. I gave him another dose of medicine when he started to act really uncomfortable and he was a new man again except for when it wore off the fever was gone. Its a mystery what it was but I am hoping it was a 24 hour bug that he caught and nothing more. It was a good distraction from feeling sorry for myself and our situation just sad that he had to be sick and miserable to smarten me up and go into Mom mode to take care of him. Sometimes I feel like I need these reminders to say "Stephanie stop thinking about how bad your situation is and look for ways to help others." I'm glad you're feeling better buddy!

We Need Some Prayers Please!

Ok so some of you may know that Spencer has been on suspension from his job for about 10 days for a stupid mistake he made at work pending whether they were going to fire him or not. We hadn't heard anything because of a different more serious incident at work (involving an employee going into his work with a gun and threatening people). Anyway we found out today that he's been terminated for this mistake. He feels relieved to finally know but pretty sad and depressed that it happened because of something he did. We are working with a few different friends and contacts on finding him another job. Luckily it couldn't have come at a better time with the holidays coming up and at least he'll be able to find something with how hard its been over the summer to find anything. He will be receiving 4 to 5 weeks of vacation pay in a lump sum check either this friday or next friday and so we'll be ok for that long until he can find another job and he's filed for unemployment but we were hoping that we could get your guys' help with prayers and fasting when its feasable. He's worked for Safeway for 8 years and its kind of sad that his loyalty didn't matter in this case but at this point we feel like its a new start and he can focus on getting out of his comfort zone and finding a job using his degree hopefully. I made cinnabons because I needed comfort food, I already did my crying and mourning of the loss and now we're looking forward and moving on now that we finally have some news. They were really good! Thanks for all your guys' support and hopefully he'll find a new job soon.

Crazy Animals . . . . .Grrrr.

We decided to stay at my in laws house while they went to Montana which is all fine and dandy. I love staying at their house to make sure the animals are taken care of, Tres my in laws dog is actually a really good dog and most of the time when I stay here to watch him he's good as gold even though a lot of the time I think its strange that he goes into a depression when my mother in law leaves. The one animal I CANNOT Stand is Homer. Now Homer is a 15 or something year old, old fart of a cat that will just about drive you bonkers as any crotchety senior citizen who thinks he is the king of roost will. He comes and goes as he pleases inside and outside, when he enters the home he meows incessantly until you follow him to what he wants. Most of the time its "feed me" even though there's food in his dish and he KNOWS where it is he insists you follow him or he follows you until you make sure he's got food. If that isn't enough once he's done with eating he won't leave you alone. As a pregnant woman with a two year old I can't stand having to babysit this cat. I am of the mindset that animals should know there place and not rule the roost. Tres knows his place but is quite needy and follows me when Penny isn't here to follow which is fine he's not annoying. I am liking being able to watch tv and have cable while we are here and it hasn't been too bad yet but I need more food then the rice a roni and pasta roni that was left behind by my in laws. Bless their hearts I love my in laws but I can't stand eating that all the time. Oh well I will get over it.

On a lighter note my friend sent me this e'mail and it made me laugh so hard. For those of you who have been pregnant and have kids this will make you chuckle because if you didn't feel this way you are very rare. Check this out:

A letter written by a pregnant woman to all NON pregnant people:

Dear NON pregnant person:

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a big fat jerk!

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby".

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.

4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5) Likewise, no women wants to hear comments on her weight... ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, Mother in law or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.

8 ) Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Gift Cards!

Today Spencer and I decided to go spend my birthday gift cards. I got one from Barnes & Noble for $25 and one from Old Navy for $25 so we went to the book store first. I wandered and decided I wanted a really nice copy of The Chronicles of Narnia because I've been wanting to read it and haven't had the chance to in a while. Plus I figure it'll give me something to read for the next few months til this kid gets here.

Stop #2

Old Navy, now I know it was birthday money and I know I should've bought something for me but I have tons of maternity clothes (like more then one woman should have, I have enough for 3 pregnant women) so I didn't need anymore and I am not sure what size i'll be once I have Rowan so I don't want to buy normal size to have it not fit. AND Old Navy was having a baby sale 40% off all their baby stuff. I couldn't resist, they were calling to me! I got two outfits that I'm going to bring with me to the hospital for taking him home in, whichever fits best. They are so cute! Its making me more and more excited to have him. I am in the double digits for days left til my due date 97 days to be exact. I know I shouldn't be counting down already because it'll make it take forever but I can't help it!

We went to my mom's after shopping and getting a bite to eat and I spent the evening with them while Spencer worked a short shift. Gavin is getting over his awekwardness (sp) with everyone and his being shy and really starting to talk more. I hear him come out with new stuff all the time. The other day it was "here, take this" and he handed me something. He is an independant child and will play by himself. I wish I had my camera but I didn't. My mom and I were sitting at the table in the kitchen and we were watching him outside by himself in my sister Shannon's bounce house doing bum drops and jumping just by himself and having the time of his life. He was out there for an hour or so just playing and the only thing that got him inside was it was dark and the fact that Granddad went out and turned off the bounce house with him inside so he was done and came in. He is such a sweet boy and I call him my love bug because he's always just randomly coming up and hugging or kissing me or snuggling. I hope he stays this way. Well that was my day. Here's a couple pics of the coming home outfits for Rowan.

Outfit #1

Outfit #2

MMmmmmm Butt Bread!

My birthday was on September 3rd. My mom has had this thing with making bread our entire lives and makes her own bread because store bought bread for some reason doesn't go bad. I have been having the thought lately when I went to make toast and I looked at this partial loaf of bread and thought "hmmm how long have we had this?" I checked the date on it and it was 5 months old and it wasn't moldie or crusty or even bad smelling. What is in this stuff?

I decided enough was enough with crazy preservatives. Plus as a kid I remember coming home to the smell of fresh baked bread and I want that for my kids. I asked my parents for a bread machine for my birthday and they bought me one. It's so purdy! The day after I decided to make a loaf of bread. It turned out great and tastes wonderful, I wanted to post a picture online to show a few friends because of course I was proud, and after the pic was taken I started busting out laughing. "OMG it looks like a butt!" one of my friends messaged me after I sent her the picture. Sure enough it looked like a rear end. I just messaged her back and said "Hmmm no butt bread for you" and I went and cut a slice and ate it. Heres to butt bread, and all the other wonderful loaves careof my parents and the bread machine they bought me. Yay!

The Testosterone Levels Have Reached Max Capacity!

I am finding more and more that I am loving having little boys so far. Some days though I think the Testosterone levels are reaching their max capacity and I need some girlie time. I mean come on now, I even have testosterone in my womb, gimme a break! Yesterday our friend Jen Jakoubek was visiting from California for her step sister's wedding and she made time to come hang out in the late afternoon and (once the reception was over) late evening to visit with us. We were already having dinner with our neighbor AC and so we invited her to come back to our house and we all just sat and talked for a while comparing "girlie stories" as Spencer called it. At one point it was an all out Estrogen fest which I needed clearly with all the men in my house (our cat is the only other female and she is in love with Spencer and Gavin and could care less about me).

I looked over at Spencer and he was sitting on the couch eating ice cream with this glazed over look in his eyes. I said to him "Hey honey? Are you enjoying listening to our girlie fest?" The reaction had us busting up, the basics of it was "Well, at this point to make this whole thing more girlie we'd have to be watching Steel Magnolias and crying while painting each other's toenails. If there was any more estrogen in my house at the moment I think my "manhood" would shrink up into my body and I'd grow boobs and a vagina" He was wishing he could just be a fly on the wall instead of the only man in the room.

It was a refreshing change to what usually goes on in our house. Most of the time Gavin and Spencer are on the floor wrestling or Spencer and his two buddies are playing shoot em up games with the volume too high and I'm hiding in my bedroom watching chick flicks by myself. Thank you ladies I needed a little bit of estrogen in my house for once.

The Progress of Baby Number 2 so far

So I've been more vigilant about taking belly pics then I was with Gavin. I think I was more focused on keeping him alive then anything else. Luckily for him because he was the first child he has tons of baby pics so hopefully that'll make up for it. I marvel at how quickly I showed with this one and it drives me nuts when I get comments. For those of you who have had kids, you know what I'm talking about. "How far along are you?" "When are you due?" I tell them and the reaction thus far is enough to make someone feel like the biggest whale in the world. "Oh my goodness, are you sure there isn't two in there?" hmm yeah pretty sure that the doctor hasn't lied to me and I'm pretty sure that they can catch that as early as 8 weeks, come on people! I'm not THAT huge! Another favorite is "oh you've got to be due soon, you look like you're ready to pop." Actually nope I still have 3 1/2 months but thanks for asking you big fat meanies. lol. I know people don't mean to be mean about it but sometimes its like hey wanna watch what you say before you open your mouth? Anywho vent over, here's the pics I've taken so far so you can see my progress.

3 months

Around 3 1/2 months

4 months

5 months (halfway point)

5 1/2 months

6 months

7 months

8 months (well close to it)

9months

The First of Many Blogs

Ok so I gave in and made a blog. My sisters have been telling me its therapeutic and I could use some therapy with all the organ shoving and the 2 year old musings at the moment. Plus I'm really bad at making a journal and I think I heard something from the prophet that says to do blogging because its a form of journaling, so here goes. This one is going to be a very long post just for catching people up and get it all down so I don't forget anything. Bear with me.

Ok Quick Background

With Gavin my beautiful 2 1/2 year old son, we had troubles, BIG troubles getting pregnant and I ended up losing 3 pregnancies to miscarriage early on before finally getting a doctor who knew what was wrong with me. Dr. Moruzzi, an amazing fertility specialist as soon as he saw me knew I had a condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which in a nutshell makes it absolutely impossible to get pregnant without medication and a lot of intervention from a doctor (I know what you're thinking, makes trying so much more fun right?). I don't ovulate or get a cycle on my own so yeah how to get pregnant otherwise? Medication! What I affectionately call the "Multiple Personality" Pills lets just call them. With Gavin and subsequent pregnancies they worked great. When it came time to start trying again we went back on the clomid and for some reason it didn't work. I seemed to be ovulating but it just didn't take. 4 months of clomid and I was just about ready to lose it! My doctor said the next step was doing artificial insemination in combination with the clomid, not an appealing alternative for me and especially for my husband Spencer but we were willing to try it if it meant I could get pregnant again. On Spencer 30th birthday (January 11th) well we did it (he says he made it with a cup but we won't go into that lol) Happy Birthday to you honey! Not very pleasant and I hope I never have to do that again, everything looked great and it didn't work....*sad face.* At this point I was so depressed and sick of all the intervention that we gave up on it. I stopped going to the doctor and stopped all the medication which was a good thing cuz I was really depressed and kind of lost myself. I started to feel better even though we weren't able to get pregnant but my sanity was slowly making its way back. A couple months later toward the end of March my grandmother had made a trip down to Abbotsford to visit family and I decided that Gavin and I should go up and see her because it had been a while and I missed her, so we went up with my parents because Spencer was working.

Ok so the next part deserves its own paragraph because I tend to make run on sentences and forget puncuation so I should probably not make it all one great big paragraph.
On one of the days we were up in Abbotsford everyone had decided to congregate at my Uncle Bob and Aunt Shan's house to visit with them and Grandma was there. We were eating lunch of pizza and enjoying each other's company. For those of you who know my son, he's totally a 2 year old and anything with buttons he can't leave alone. My aunt Shan has a fandangly fridge with buttons galore and unbeknownst to me he had discovered it and it was not childproof. My mom kept trying to get my attention but of course I was trying to socialize and didn't hear her the first couple times (or tuned her out sorry mom) finally she got my attention and told me that Gavin was pressing the buttons and I needed to get him away but because I had heard her the first few times and was for some reason getting mad about being bothered I for some reason just blew up. I yelled "Mom I heard you, leave it alone" at the top of my lungs and everyone went silent. My grandmother preceded to yell at me to not talk to my mother that way and that hers was dead and that she wishes she had her mother etc. etc. while the rest of the family was still in shock like "what's her problem?" I at the same time didn't realize why I had done it and just thought it was weird that I flew off like that. We enjoyed our stay in Abbotsford and a few days later went home.

Like usual every month (I should have stock in pregnancy tests, I'd be rich) my cycle came late. Every month I take a test, every month its negative . . . I wait and "Aunt Flow" usually appears a couple days later and I move on like every month. I went to the bathroom, did the test and didn't even want to look at it because I knew it was going to be negative so I walked away. I set the timer and then when I came back it had already turned positive and I let out a loud scream. Spencer came running like I had seen a spider and was ready to squish it. He sat in the doorway puzzled while I held up the triumphant stick and yelled "We're Pregnant!" and immediately I started crying. Understand, this has never happened where I get pregnant on my own. It just doesn't, I've come to deal with the fact that to have babies I have to take medication and go through rigorous tests to get my little ones. I couldn't believe it I was in shock and then immediately I was like "Spencer where's the phone? I need to call my mom!" I called her and could barely get the news out to my mom. All I heard on the other end was "NO WAY!" or at least that's all I remember. I called my best friend and we both cried. The rest is history, we found out that Gavin will have a little brother in December and we've decided to call him Rowan Spencer Beard, Spencer wants a Junior but I said no so this is as close as he gets. I am in my 6th month and enjoying every kick and organ shove even though everyone around me hears me complain about how uncomfortable or tired I am I really am enjoying it, REALLY! This pregnancy has been a lot harder then Gavin's because his was a breeze but that's alright. My sister Erin said "I think with each baby heavenly father changes the difficulty, if they were all easy we'd have 20 children and so making them different difficulties helps us decide how many are up there waiting for us." Onward and upward as they say, enjoy.